I love you, I miss you, I can't even say it to you

I love you of course

I miss you of course 

I can't even say it to you

Aku tak sempat ucap semua tu

Pernah ke kau cakap semua tu

Dan buat ape kau nak sebut semua tu...

BUT I can say it again EVERYTIME I VISIT YOU 

LAST WEEK 17 March

Last night I throw tantrum to my mom

I know my depression level ain't high

but I couldn't manage to get anger every week i think

i get anger but I crawl crying myself

how dumb I am

how hopeless I am

Then the next day

I trying to stay normal as usual

Cause I need to do my work

How how why why why 

does it happen  right know?!

Is'it HER that I heard

I couldn't believe it when one  of my friend visit my work place...

...and TELL ME THAT MY CLOSE CLOSE FRIEND ALREADY LEFT THIS WORLD

I work as cashier, I read again in the message

And....still I'm not dreaming

Aku nangis situ jugak

Aku palingkan customer

Aku tak jerit pon

Aku nangis NANGIS YANG TAK PERCAYA 

18 MARCH 

IT MARCH YOU KNOW

MY ONE OF BELOVED PERSON

pergi dengan mengejut

sape TAK SEDIH

sape TAK NANGIS

sampai AKU LUPA TAKDIR ALLAH

sampai AKU TENGOK BALIK, BARU JE 2 HARI SEBELUM AKU TENGOK INSTA N WHATSAPP STORY DIE

AKU tak percaya

AKU lihat sendiri

Esoknya...

Dia di kelilingi orang ramai

her MOTHER her SISTER right beside HER

And...

She SLEEP SILENTLY

TENANG, LEMBUT, memang itu DIA

Dia dah pergi menghadap ILAHI

Yang hanya tinggal JASAD die

Aku JUMPA dia...

Buat KALI YANG TERAKHI Di dunia..

Al-Fatihah Arwah Nurul Syafiqah Binti Mohd Shaari (20 Disember 1995 - 18 March 2018)

Sahabatmu - Fatin Zain