I love you, I miss you, I can't even say it to you

I love you of course

I miss you of course 

I can't even say it to you

Aku tak sempat ucap semua tu

Pernah ke kau cakap semua tu

Dan buat ape kau nak sebut semua tu...

BUT I can say it again EVERYTIME I VISIT YOU 

LAST WEEK 17 March

Last night I throw tantrum to my mom

I know my depression level ain't high

but I couldn't manage to get anger every week i think

i get anger but I crawl crying myself

how dumb I am

how hopeless I am

Then the next day

I trying to stay normal as usual

Cause I need to do my work

How how why why why 

does it happen  right know?!

Is'it HER that I heard

I couldn't believe it when one  of my friend visit my work place...

...and TELL ME THAT MY CLOSE CLOSE FRIEND ALREADY LEFT THIS WORLD

I work as cashier, I read again in the message

And....still I'm not dreaming

Aku nangis situ jugak

Aku palingkan customer

Aku tak jerit pon

Aku nangis NANGIS YANG TAK PERCAYA 

18 MARCH 

IT MARCH YOU KNOW

MY ONE OF BELOVED PERSON

pergi dengan mengejut

sape TAK SEDIH

sape TAK NANGIS

sampai AKU LUPA TAKDIR ALLAH

sampai AKU TENGOK BALIK, BARU JE 2 HARI SEBELUM AKU TENGOK INSTA N WHATSAPP STORY DIE

AKU tak percaya

AKU lihat sendiri

Esoknya...

Dia di kelilingi orang ramai

her MOTHER her SISTER right beside HER

And...

She SLEEP SILENTLY

TENANG, LEMBUT, memang itu DIA

Dia dah pergi menghadap ILAHI

Yang hanya tinggal JASAD die

Aku JUMPA dia...

Buat KALI YANG TERAKHI Di dunia..

Al-Fatihah Arwah Nurul Syafiqah Binti Mohd Shaari (20 Disember 1995 - 18 March 2018)

Sahabatmu - Fatin Zain

Bonding with PEOPLE

Not many of U know right
I have done my study but not yet getting officially graduated
my mak think there is so many difficulty for me to living far away form  home
WORK?
Yeah

IT'S BEEN A MONTH ALREADY I HAVE WORK AT HERE (PETRON)

Near my places of course

meeting so many strangers
trying to give good service to customer

I have a BITCH FACE
They can't even differenciate
 my STRAIGHT FOCUS FACE
my MOODY BITCH FACE
my NO SOUL FACE 
IT AIN'T FAKE SMILE BUT "MUST SMILE" OTTOKAE!!!

BESTNYE KERJA SINI!!

to many handsome guy cust (huhuhu)
mostly chinese, malay guys
getting tease
everyday has different story
exciting isn'it?

Does my blog still relevant?

Must? Isn'it?

Most of the famous blogger already have their own blog name
not like this old one like "dotdot.blogspot.com "name

no time for this for that?
what are my mind is thinking about?

when there is nothing to think abut
you become bored and sleep hahaha
feel like our brain tired it ain't getting function properly

as long I still write
as long there is people who misses my blog
as long this blog still relevant
as long as it still FREE 😁😁

THERE IS SOME CHANCES BUT I STILL GETTING USED TO IT

we woo

I don't care about my grammar
I just could write everything in mind
so I wouldn't stop typing

it's been so long
there is many story I could write
but it take time

that's why this blog ain't getting any story update
WHY would my mind think in ENGLISH
cuz it cool 😅
nanti I update more sok keje pagi tho

Struggle by myself

Hold up what I'm talking about

There was my favourite k-pop artist Jonghyun
His face his figure and his Voice all were familiar to me
The first day of this shocking news ...i couldn't believe it
I sleep as usual
Waiting for report that it's all were FAKE news!
I found that it's all true
Watching over all his friend, coming to his funeral

What even to shocking to everyone is his LETTER
It's hard to accept
The pain ain't gone
you know right he's non-muslim
There is nothing he could hold up

It's all about his DEPRESSION
not about how he take his life
he smile like there is nothing he could be worried

I'm crying down to earth cause I also had struggle by myself with depression
there is no one could understand you
the last thought you could ever think is to die
but I am muslim gitrl my religion
Allah are the one I must remembered 
Allah has brought me back to normal
but some case like him they could'nt handle their own depression

but during I heard this news I also having depress